tsukishima x reader.
based off of one scene in mekakucity actors.
trigger warning for: suicidal thoughts, abusive relationships, self-harm, and suicide.
"I want this one!!" Her tiny voice rang out in the shop, making the boy wince, taken aback by the girl's loudness. His golden hues followed the single index finger that was pointed towards the flower crown. Yellow, light pink and blue flowers adorned it, with leaves and other flowery stuff that Tsukishima couldn't be concerned enough with label in his mind.
His slightly larger hand grabbed it off the metal shelf, trying not to let out a strangled sound when he saw the price tag.
"Weeeelll?" The girl asked, her hair bouncing up and down as she looked at her taller boyfriend with a happy smile. "Come on, Kei-chan, this can be your birthday present to me!! Oh, I know, we can get matching ones, so that way everyone knows that you're mine!!" She twirled around, her skirt fluttering around her thighs as she did so. A small wink came from the petite girl, and she giggled at the small blush that crossed his face.
He looked around quickly, before snatching another one off of the shelf. Oh, the things he did to please her.
"Yaaay!! I love you, Tsukki!!" She squealed in happiness, as she pranced up to the check out of the small boutique.
"I love you, Tsukki!!" Her voice, clear like a bell, rang out happily, as the blonde megane scowled, a blush crossing his face.
"Seriously, don't say that," he said flatly, as she swung their intertwined hands back and forth. "You sound like Yamaguchi."
Her smile faltered, giving way to a sad frown, before it was quickly wiped away and replaced by a grin that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Sorry, Tsukki!!" She said, clearly mocking the boy with freckles, all in good heart, of course. "Alright, Kei," the way she said his voice gave him shivers, "I love you. I love you, Kei." Her voice was more quiet, and she was a lot calmer. Earnesty was intertwined with her words as she squeezed his hand softly.
The taller boy looked at his friend(?), and a smirk crossed his face, as he leaned down, and captured her unsuspecting lips in a sweet kiss. It was a couple of moments before they had pulled apart, a string of saliva connecting the two.
It was obvious she wasn't expecting it. "Embarassing, Kei, you're embarassing!!" She said, wiping her lips away, a blush on her face.
"I love you too."
While he thought it went unnoticed, the boy stiffened at his girlfriend's words, before taking up a neutral expression again, and walking over to the cashier. The girl frowned, a hint of sadness in her expression as she looked at him. "Kei--!" Her voice was cut off as he held out a palm in a stopping motion, demanding her silence.
"Leave it." Kei took out his wallet, and paid with a bill of some sorts, although she couldn't quite catch what kind. "Keep the change," he said flatly, before taking the bag off of the counter that had the flower crowns. "Come on," he said, grabbing the girl's hand tightly as they walked out of the boutique.
"You know I didn't m-mean it like that, right, Kei??" Worry interlaced his girl friend's voice as he looked down at her. "I completely forgot. I'm sorry." Earnesty in her voice, he froze. "I love you, Kei."
"I love you, Kei."
"Er, yeah. You too, shrimpy."
The girl looked a bit hurt at his lack of response, but she said nothing, and only squeezed his hand reassuringly, although he said nothing. The two walked down the street, and back to the school. Lunch break wouldn't last any longer.
As the two approached the school, he dug into the plastic bag, and placed one of the two flower crowns on her head delicately, as if he were afraid she would break if he did it anymore harshly, as a blush crossed her face. "What about yours?"
"Wear the other flower crown so we match!!
"No way in hell, that's girly as hell!! The King would never let me live it down!!"
"Oh, I see how it is!! You're embarrassed to have me as your girlfriend, aren't you?"
"That's not it--!"
"If it's not, then put on the flower crown!!"
Kei eye's widened, and he scowled. "Fine." Grabbing the flower crown out of the bag, he angrily placed it on his head, letting some of the artificial flowers fall to the ground. "Happy?"
The girl went on her tippy toes---being a head or so shorter than her boyfriend---and brushed her pink lips against his now pink cheeks. "You always make me happy," she said softly; no double meaning behind it. Just that. "Meet you in the gym afterschool?"
"Of course," he said, kissing her on the top of her forehead, before they parted ways.
A girl with silver hair and a pink highlight sprinted up to the girl, forcibly linking arms. It was obvious to see that these two were best friends. The friend oddly resembled Suga---which made it stick out to Kei's girlfriend. It was later that she would find out, that yes, she was the third year's (first year) sister. "Hey, you're kind of a selfish girlfriend, you know that?"
Much like her boyfriend earlier, the girl stiffened. Oblivious, her friend pulled her along, waiting for her answer.
"Eh? No way, I could never d-date Kei!!" The [h/c] haired girl had a pale blush spreading onto her face as she tried to cover it up, failing uselessly as Yachi smirked. [Name] sunk deeper into her seat as she glanced towards the doorway, in which Kageyama and Tsukki argued about something; most likely volleyball technique.
"And why is that, huh, [Name]?" The smirk never left her face as she looked at [Name], who was practically falling out of her chair at this point. A memory flashed through [Name]'s mind---when Kei and herself had walked home, the kiss, the 'I love you's---it made her squeal as she covered her entire face with her hands.
"I can only be his best friend, that's all," she said, sadness lacing her expression. "He needs someone as selfish as him to keep him afloat!"
She let out a small chuckle, giving her friend Yachi a grin that was forced and lopsided, as she sat up straight in her desk, putting her papers. "Besides...I don't think he likes me like that." Biting down on her chapped lip, [Name] let sadness overtake her expression again, but this time she didn't try to stop it. It didn't mean anything; the kiss Kei and [Name] had shared. It wasn't like it was the first the two had shared---but he never called her his girlfriend, and whenever he introduced her to someone, it was always,
"She's my bestfriend."
"He's totally in love with you, [Name]!!" The friend of [Name] squealed, making the megane blonde look over towards the two, and his golden eyes glanced towards [Name], before flitting away, as if snubbing her.
"No, not really," she said, a small sigh on her lips as she packed her bags. "Kei, are you ready to go?"
The tall boy looked over at his best friend, and smirked. "Took you long enough." He began to walk away, expecting the girl to follow, as he called out a casual, "See you later, 'King'!" [Name] struggled to keep up with Kei, as his long legs took him further with less strides, and she had been distracted by the vein that was pratically popping out of Kageyama's forehead. By time she had caught up with him, he was at the bottom of the staircase, and she had practically sprinted down to make sure he wasn't waiting long. Huffing and puffing, she gave him a smile.
That was shattered in a moment.
"Jeez, [Name], I didn't know you were so fat."
And her heart broke once more. It's not like that she wasn't used to it; sometimes it was about her grades, "Really? A 56? Are you stupid? You're in class 4 for a reason, [Name]. You shouldn't be here if you can't even pass this class." or sometimes how her hair wasn't perfectly correct, "Your hair looks stupid today. Did you forget to put conditioner in it?" It was little things like that that slowly broke [Name], and it was hard not to cry whenever he said those things.
But even the comment then it was cruel---it wasn't her fault that the [e/c] eyed girl had asthma. Hell, she was risking her own health just so he wouldn't be kept waiting.
Tears form in the corner of [Name]'s eyes, but she said nothing. How could he be so cruel one moment, but then breathtakingly sweet the next?
"It's a long story, Hiro," she said, a smile on her face, one that didn't stretch from ear to ear. "Let's just go to class, already."
The boy glanced at the board. It was the first thing he noticed. Unlike his classroom, they had the date written in the top right corner. February 9th. "Hey, Yachi, have you seen [Name] around?" The girl blinked as she looked up from her notebook, shaking her head.
"Isn't she in your class, Tsukishima-san?" The blonde girl had confusion written all over her face, as she took a sip of her milk.
"Yeah, but..." The normally passive aggressive megane held up a pink envelope. "I wanna talk to her." A pale blush had crossed his face as he pushed his glasses up. On the envelope, her name, [Name], was written in kanji, clearly delicately.
A smirk crossed the normally innocent girl's face, as she shrugged. "Maybe she's on the roof? She's spent a lot of time up there."
He shook his head in somewhat of a dazed manner. "There's still construction. There's no fence. There's no way that [Name] would be up there, she could get herself ki--" The boy stopped himself, his eyes widened. No, no way. He had known about her problems---but he occasionally brushed them off. More frequently as time went on, because it seemed like a daily repeat. Almost immediately after cutting his own statement off, he had his phone whipped out.
text message from: ray of sunshine [name] Dear Kei. This isn't that sentimental, i suppose, considering it's over text message,,, but you know i really love you, right? even all the dumb things that kind of make me hurt, im okay with that!! not rlly but i mean,, you're my best friend and id rather u put it on me then someone else but yeah...um, im not feeling all too well rn. my thoughts arent that gr8,, and i dont think i can go back to a therapist for a third time,,, besides,,, that would be rlly 'pathetic', to quote u, right?? i mean,,, i havent been clean for a while... i relapsed like,, last night, maybe?? i dont kno why im even friends with you sometimes,, because you hoenstly make me feel like crap sometimes...but you can be so sweet and amazing and,... idk where i was going with this,, but lmao,, i kno...but i just wanted to say,,, in case i never see you again. i love you. im sorry for being a shitty friend, i wish i could have done better.
text message to: ray of sunshine [name] jfc, [name], it's like, one am. shut up and go to bed; save the sentimentals for tomorrow.
He sprinted faster than he ever had, shoving past people. "Don't you dare do it, [Name], I swear to god." Considering the fact that he was on the first floor and he had to sprint to the roof, he was practically huffing and puffing, beads of sweat trickling down his face. He swung the door open to the roof, only to see the [h/c] head girl sitting on the edge, in a place with no fence. Her legs hung off the edge of the building, as she faced the entrance of the school, back facing her best friend. "Jesus christ, I thought that you were--"
"Dead?" Her voice was flat and lacked emotion, as the first year turned around, her [e/c] eyes brimming with tears. "No, not yet."
Very carefully, he approached the girl, his hands out in a defensive position. "[Name], p-please be careful." He could feel his lungs closing off as he approached the fifteen year old girl. He was practically choking for air, as he tried not to look down at her wrists. One glance down, and he could see the red, vertical cuts up and down her forearm.
"You're panting? Seriously? And I'm the fat one?" Her bottom lip trembled as she tried to make a joke of what he had said earlier, but her voice cracked halfway through, as she stood up. "What are you doing here, Kei?"
The megane tried to play it off. "I'm here to take you back to the classroom, obviously. I-It's lunch time, and we can go to your favorite c-cafe, the one down the street; if you ju-"
[Name] wiped away the tears streaming down her face, as she gave a pathetic scoff. "I hate that cafe." As if it were a joke, the girl let out a laugh. "I only went because you were always so happy there. Especially when the cute little waitress brought you your strawberry shortcake." At that point, her bottom lip was trembling.
Her best friend shuffled forward, and she shuffled backwards, her left heel now off the ledge. "[Name], please, we can get you help, I-I don't want..." Kei gulped, as the girl shook her head, her [h/c] locks following. "I don't w-want you to die. I-I need you in my life."
"Now you want to get me help? Now?" She let the tears fall from her [e/c] eyes fall freely, as they hit the stone of the high school. "So it didn't matter all those other times when I considered taking my life, but right now it does, because I'm about to do it right in front of you?" The girl laughed, before pressing her lips together in a thin line, as the wind blew, whistling as it filled the silence between the air. "What sucks the most is that I still love you," she said, averting her eyes, wiping away her tears one last time. Her [e/c] eyes locked onto Kei's golden ones, as she wiped her wrists on her uniform lightly. "Fuck you, Tsukishima Kei. You were the worst, as well as the best friend a girl could have. Thank you so much."
It had happened in a blink of eye, contrary to what people believed. Her left foot, then her right foot. He blinked, and scrambled to reach for the girl, but he could only feel the ghost of her uniform's tie.
And then the sickening crack upon the pavement came.
When Kei had entered the classroom, he had slipped off his headphones. No one seemed to be there---probably all out at lunch still. On the desk next to his was a vase of flowers.
"Strange," he said softly, walking over. "This is [Name]'s desk, isn't it?"
And just by chance, the megane looked over at the blackboard. It was odd; it seemed the date was written in the right corner.
A sharp pain entered his heart, as he bit down on his lip. Awkwardly, he fiddled with the flower crown with his large hands, before he took it off, and laid it on [Name]'s desk delicately. Tears pricked at his eyes, and he didn't bother to stop them as they fell on her desk.
"Hey, do you know why Tsukishima didn't show up to practice?" Daichi approached Yachi, as she furrowed her eyebrows lightly. "You are his girlfriend and all, so I would assume... Did he just leave without you?" He made a grimace, as she looked down at her clipboard.
It was always a habit of hers to write the date at the top of her page.
Her eyes softened, and glistened with tears. "What? Oh, yeah, um, Tsukki isn't coming today. I forgot to tell you guys."
Daichi shrugged, and walked away, back to his team members, as Yachi glanced up at the sky. Cloudy.
"Am I selfish enough to keep him afloat for you, [Name]?"